Thursday, November 29, 2012


Raw genitals are sad genitals, so everybody grab some lube!

Today we're going to discuss lube--

  • How important lube is for your body
  • The different kinds of lube there are
  • How important it is to know what lube your using
Lube & You!

The most natural lube of all is Lady Lube! Every Girl has it. So  why do you need more you might ask? Well for a start you might not be a woman. Secondly, depending on many factors including mood, hormones and having a little to much sex you might not have enough to have a sexy slip and slide down there. Never fear there is plenty of lube out there to help out.

Almost every guy knows the importance of lube because they use it during their me time but somehow they never think of it when they are with a sexy partner. This lack of lube during sex is just silly. I think one of the biggest problems is that there are different types of lubes and people are unsure of which to use.

Moisture is essential to any kind of sex—rubbing dry on dry skin will quickly show you how uncomfortable sexual activity can be without it. Moisture prevents micro-abrasions in our most sensitive areas that can happen from sexual friction, as well as heightens sensation. (Lubrication is especially important for anal sex)

Lube is more than just moisture... it's formulated to be more slick than our natural juices, and to give a bit of padding between surfaces in motion.

Types of Lube

There are basically 3 different kids of lube--


Oil-based lubes were the first recorded lubes. Egyptians started using olive oil back in the hieroglyphic days. 

It's only in recent history that we've found out that oil anything wreaks havoc on the vagina, harboring bacteria and creating yeast infections.

Oil-based lubes also break down latex, which will either render your condom useless, or destroy your favorite sex toy.

Male masturbation is your best (only) bet with an oil-based lubes. They are super slippery and thick without being sticky. There are oil-based lubes (like mineral oil) which are liquid at room temperature, hypoallergenic, and clean up with soap and water.


Lube as we know it descended from a cellulose/water combination called Surgilube, released in the 1950s and is still common today for medical applications.

Fun Fact: Astroglide was one of the first lubes designed just for sexual play back in the 1950s.

The majority of lubes are water-based; they are a great all-purpose lube because they are condom safe, generally don't stain (depends on if coloring has been added or not), and can be flavored easily. 

Because they are water-based, they dehydrate (dry up), but remember that the slippery ingredients are still there... so a quick dunk of your hand in a glass of water on your bedside table, touch the lubed area, and you're back in business.

Water based lube is my ultimate favorite. It works great and it is so easy to clean. It never stains my sheets and it's nice to my lady bits. Water based lube is definitely Kinky Approved ;)

Silicone based

Silicone is clear, thinner, and feels... slick. If you just touch the cap of the lube bottle, you'll feel how slippery it is without even having to put it on your skin. Though it tends to be more expensive, a little bit goes a long way, so your bottle will last twice as long as a similar-sized bottle of water-based lube.

Silicone is inert, which means it won't change your pH balance or react with your body's chemistry.

Because it's not water-soluble, it's also the perfect choice for using in or under water, too, though be careful... it will make the floor of your shower super-slick too. It also makes a great massage oil because it doesn't dry up before you're done with it (try it as a shave cream, too!).

Also, the only thing that bonds to silicone is silicone; so using silicone lube with lower-quality silicone toys can gum up the surface. If you are unsure what type of toy you've got, do a spot-test on a small area; if it's going to gum up, it will do so immediately.

Lastly, silicone isn't so friendly on the digestive tract; so using it for oral sex might give you the runs if you ingest too much.

Not a Separate Category But...

Flavored lube is not really a different type of lube but I thought I would touch on the subject. Most flavored lubes I have tried has lots to be desired but it has started to improve. The best tasting lube I have tried is Sliquid and is mighty tasty. However, I get a little weirded out by my lover tasting like a dessert but I can understand the appeal.

Lube & your Toys

As we said above, it's important to use caution when selecting a lube because it can destroy your toy, your condom or mess with your bits!

So, remember!

  • Oil-based lubes are a No-No! (Unless you're penis-ly inclined and don't need a condom or sex toy to play)
  • Water-based lubes dry up easy, but are a good all purpose lubricant
  • Silicone based lubes can gum up low grade silicone toys that you may have, (you can always throw a condom on them) but a little goes a long way

So, what lube do you use?

Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions or questions below!

Follow us on Twitter @Naked_Geeks or Like us on Facebook
Or email us at if your comment is too sexy for the internet ;)

Don't be shy!


 -- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Sex Toys

Let's have a little fun with ourselves, shall we? Let's play with toys!

Incorporating toys into your sex life is a healthy and very common experience for many couples.

On day around 26,000 b.c. a cave woman turned to her man and said "What you have between your legs just isn’t working." So he went about trying to make something pleasing for her and came up with an 8 inch long half an inch wide phallic object. The fact that such an object exists shows that been back then people were experimenting with their sexuality.

Got that? It's not just about masturbation. If you don't believe me, the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University studied vibrator usage among Americans: 80% of women (users) have used a vibrator with a partner (2009).

It’s hard to define a sex toy. Some thing’s are most definitely-- dildos, cock rings and such, but is a scarf a sex toy? It can be, if you are using it to tie a person up or blind fold them. 

If you look in my little sex goodie bag there are perfectly innocent looking things like silk ties and a sleeping mask in there that help to enhance my sexual pleasure and that of my partner’s. 

There are a few different types of toys, because everyone is going to want something a little different to get them off.

Whether you are looking for vibrators or lubes, sleeves, cuffs, or rings, shopping can be a exciting experience -- no matter what you're looking for. You just have to know the right questions to ask.

You can find vibrators (including those from Trojan) sold in mass food and drugstores. Right there on the shelves next to the condoms and lubes. They are definitely mainstream.

When you (and/or your partner) decide to take a trip to your local erotica shop (or browse online) think about what is it you are looking for. Are the two of you looking for the same thing? Is this for one particular sex act or is it for a variety of experiences? Or just consider the following:

The most important thing you have to do when deciding on purchasing sex toy is to contemplate what you are going to use it for. If you are looking for gspot stimulation a little bullet isn’t going to help you much. If you are not comfortable going to a sex shop to purchase your toys I would recommend going on the a reputable site like or these sites have good descriptions about each toy on the site that way you can look for something that is right for you.

Clit vibrator used to focus vibrations on that tiny little of so sensitive spot.

G spot vibrator almost always angled so one can easy stimulate the g spot.

Prostate vibrator shaped to be inserted anally to hit the prostate

Dildo a battery free object used to put wherever you please.

Double headed dildo very useful for foreplay between women.

Anal beads a string of connected balls that is inserted anally and then pulled out for a pleasurable sensation.

Cock rings a ring that is placed around the cock and balls to help to prolong an erection. Some even vibrate to for add sensation for both partners.

Love pillows Angled cushions to help you comfortably get into different sexual positions.

Masturbation sleeves are sleeves of textured material that when lubed give men added thrill during their alone time.


Is the product attractive? Why is this important? Well, if you think that something is visually unappealing, why would you want to put it anywhere near your genitals? We should get turned on with our eyes and our bodies.


Does size matter? In this case, yes. Will this product make you or your partner uncomfortable? Is it so large and vein-y that your partner is going to pale in comparison? Is it small enough that you can carry it in a purse for those spontaneous moments? Is it small enough that you can use it comfortably during sex?


Don't kid yourself. Power is important. Is this strong enough for you and your partner? Does it have a range of settings and speeds? Is there enough variety in power?


In the bedroom, there are few things worse than having your favorite vibrator or other enhancement die mid-act. In the best case, you can reach over an grab a couple of AA batteries to get that baby up and running again. But what happens if your favorite product takes watch batteries? Well, that sucks, because those aren't likely to be purchased in bulk during your Costco runs. And if they use Cs or Ds, do you have them handy? Do they make your vibe super-heavy and hard to hold? This is important. Check out how the product operates and see if it's convenient for you


Does this product sound like a jackhammer? Will your roommates wake up? Will your children come barging into your bedroom in fear that construction workers have camped out in your bed during the night? Check out the buzz - is it quiet, loud, do you care? Is the sound going to be so distracting to you that you can't fully enjoy the sensation?


Feel it. Does it rattle? Does it look and feel so cheap that you think it will only work for about ten minutes before it falls apart or stops working? If so, don't buy it.


Is this product a piece of crap? Seriously. There are lots of crappy products on the market. Some of them contain chemicals that you wouldn't want to put inside your body. Make sure that the product doesn't contain phthalates. Phthalates are chemicals used to soften PVCs. They are found in many novelty products but there are health hazards associated with usage. Some stores like Good Vibrations and Babeland won't even sell products with these chemicals in them. Check out the "ingredient list." It is important.

There is so much variety out there and it can be very overwhelming. My biggest recommendation is get something that is hygienic and easy to clean. Silicone and glass are good material choices for vibrators and dildos but there are a multitude of different materials that you can try.

You need to know what the product is made out of (i.e. latex, silicone, jelly rubber) because it will give you some insight as to what products you can (or cannot) use with them. Consider the following questions: Can this be used with condoms? Do you need to use a particular type of lube? For example, oils should never be used with latex condoms and silicone or cyberskin "toys" cannot be used with silicone lubes; they can damage the product and erode the surface. But you'd never know if you don't do your research. (And while we're on the subject of lubes, think about the following: Are you using the lube with condoms? Are you using it with a particular toy? Do you want a thick lube or a thinner one? Does the lube have a particular odor or flavor? Is it sticky or silky? What kind of sex will you be having? Seriously, if you're talking about having anal sex you're going to want a lube that doesn't dry out too quickly. These things do matter.)


Whether you call them sex toys or instruments of pleasure, all of them can be found in a range of price points. Chances are, if a product is super-inexpensive, it's not going to have great longevity. That being said, there's no guarantee that you'll fall madly in love with a $250 product. Price doesn't ensure a fabulous experience. There are great products that you don't have to spend an arm and a leg for. But if you (and/or your partner) are shopping for the first time, less expensive is a good entry point. Pardon the pun, but ease into the experience. Just keep in mind that "less expensive" and "cheap" are not synonymous.


Is this product easy to clean? Is this product easy to store? These may seem like silly questions, but you want your sexual accessories to be pleasurable and convenient to use (before, during, and after).

For a little more about sex toys history here are the basics.

Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions or questions below!

Follow us on Twitter @Naked_Geeks or Like us on Facebook

Or email us at if your comment is too sexy for the internet ;)

Don't be shy!


 -- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Thanksgiving Hiatus

Kinky and I have been been on a Thanksgiving hiatus this past week, but we're back and sexier than ever!

Stay tuned for:

Sexy Fun Week!

We'll be discussing--

Sex Toys
Sex Shops

Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions or questions below!

Follow us on Twitter @NakedGeeks or Like us on Facebook
Or email us at if your comment is too sexy for the internet ;)

Don't be shy!


 -- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress


Saturday, November 24, 2012

Winner of the Comment Contest

You're the winner!


"I am going to say Felicia Day. Emma Stone while being wild and awesome, seems like the kind of person to be very bland in bed. While Felicia, has a wild side that is very rarely seen."

We'll need your name and mailing address so that we can send your prize! 

Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions or questions below!

Follow us on Twitter @NakedGeeks or Like us on Facebook
Or email us at if your comment is too sexy for the internet ;)

Don't be shy!


 -- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress


Sunday, November 18, 2012

Comment Contest!

We're having another comment contest!

A prize (a real prize!) goes to the most entertaining answer to the following question:

Who do you think would be better in bed:

Felicia Day or Emma Stone?


Comment below to enter!

We'll announce the winner on:

 Saturday, November 24, 2012

We'll follow up with you via email to send your fabulous prize!

Follow us on Twitter @NakedGeeks or Like us on Facebook
Or email us at if your comment is too sexy for the internet ;)

Don't be shy!


 -- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress


Winner's of the Comment Contest!

We're happy to announce the winner of last week's

The soon to be owner of a hand knit sperm...


Email us at so that we can get your mailing address and send your prize.

We have conciliation prizes for our other participants as well!

So, daz & Kristin Odell shoot us an email too!

Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions or questions below!

Follow us on Twitter @NakedGeeks or Like us on Facebook
Or email us at if your comment is too sexy for the internet ;)

Don't be shy!


 -- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Penis Week (Part 3) Porn


We all know there's porn for everyone. Whether you're using it for foreplay purposes or just to cozy up with your bits, there's always a time to watch some steamy scenes on your favorite DVD.

And why not? 

Is porn hurting anyone?

The quick answer to that is no-- everything you're seeing in porn is fiction, as in fantasy, as in fake. Everything is consensual.

If you find something that is non consensual, (and/or involves children) it's considered illegal-- and rightly so.

But what's wrong with watching two (or more) people doing the grown-up?

A world of fantasy and sex and really bad one liners. Sadly due to the lack of proper sex education in the world it is also where people turn to learn about sexuality. Now that isn’t to say that there isn’t educational porn out there but let’s face it the majority is not and is filled with unrealistic situations, position and body parts. Don’t get me wrong I think porn is awesome. Sitting around with a bowl of popcorn watching Pirates with friends is a heck of a lot of fun. It also allows people to explore possible fetishes and fantasies without having to try them out first. You just have to understand that those people in the films are Professionals with a capital P so don’t hurt yourself trying to reenact it all and don’t be disappointed when sex with your lover is nothing like what you see. Just like regular movies porn is a fantasy world.

If we're talking about porn we need to take a look at first amendment, the rights of porn makers to produce erotica and the need to protect the public from potentially derogatory material that may warp viewers’ ideas about sex and relationships.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
—The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution

So let's purse some happiness! Right?

Some people consider certain pornographic images insulting to women and harmful for gender relationships and so should not be displayed. 

Those people often wonder why content they feel is pornographic isn’t outlawed--simply wiped off the face of the Internet. It’s not that easy. A great deal of such material originates in foreign countries, where U.S. law doesn’t carry much force. Furthermore, the display of some sexually explicit material is constitutionally protected. So how does the concept of “pornography” square with the First Amendment?

Ginsberg v. New York:
In 1968 the Supreme Court held that the government can constitutionally prohibit children from accessing certain types of sexually explicit material that it can’t constitutionally ban for adults. It also noted, per Butler v. Michigan (1957), that the government can’t “reduce the adult population…to reading only what is fit for children.”
Miller v. California:
This 1973 case established that material can be judged obscene if, taken as a whole and judged by community standards, it appeals to the “prurient interest” in sex, depicts sexual conduct in a patently offensive manner, and lacks serious literary, artistic, political, and scientific value.
New York v. Ferber: 
This 1982 case upheld the constitutionality of a state statute that prohibited anyone from knowingly producing, promoting, directing, exhibiting, or selling any material showing a “sexual performance” by a child under the age of 16. It defined sexual performance as any performance that included “actual or simulated sexual intercourse, deviate sexual intercourse, sexual bestiality, masturbation, sado-masochistic abuse, or lewd exhibition of the genitals.” The case also established that child pornography doesn’t have to meet all of the requirements of the Miller test. 

Various forms of porn have been around for centuries. Rich roman emperors would have slaves have sex in front of them and guests at parties as forms of entertainment. Sexually explicit pictures have been painted on cave walls. The discovery of Pompeii exposed a lot of the sexual exploits to light which in 1821 was the first thing to be called pornography and was locked away in the Gabinetto Segreto in Naples.

Even in the prude Victorian era you could get naughty pictures of naked people in sexual positions. With the invention of film pornographic movies were soon to follow. In 1896 one year after the invention of film a nude striptease was made called Le Coucher de la Marie. Believed to be filmed around 1907 in Argentina the film El Sátiro is considered to be the oldest surviving Pornographic film with explicit sex scenes. Most of these sorts of films were shown in brothels.

 These films stayed in the shadows until the so called golden age of porn starting at the end of the rock and rolling 1960’s and rampantly grown through the whole free loving 1970’s. During this famous era that has forever put its stamp on the industry with its funky music and large bushes. Hugh Heffner was a huge part of this era by providing the world with Playboy that mothers have found hidden by son’s and husband’s in the most unlikely places ever since. Films like Deep Throat took the world by storm. Actors in these films became so famous that you still hear about them like Ron Jeremy, John C. Holmes and Linda Lovelace.

1968 Lyndon B. Johnson spent a lot taxpayer money to research the porn industry. That study and subsequent studies still show that there is no reliable evidence to support that exposure to explicit sexual material will play a significant role in leading to criminal behavior. (Reagan had a similar study done that said the exact same thing-- too bad, so sad!)

There are many reasons why people turn to pornography.

Men try to hide the fact that they watch porn but porn is not unhealthy. In fact it is quite the opposite. If you are a woman who likes porn like I do somehow we are labeled as a sex freak. Not to say I don’t like a roll in the hay but my porn watching is nothing to do with it. In fact most of the time I watch it not for material for my self pleasure like most men do but to watch to enjoy the cheesy story.   

Sometimes people are just going to it for things they wish they could do in real life. It fills in a gap in their own relationship. They have a partner who doesn't like to do oral sex and they love it themselves, and they're in this relationship and they want to stay, so they go and look at pictures of oral sex. In this regard, porn can be part of a healthy relationship.

Now looking in to the world of porn can be quite scary there is so much of it that you can get easily overwhelmed. I recommend figuring out what you like and look into porn that plays out that fantasy. A simple Google search with the filters off should show you plenty of options.

Men (such visual creatures) are thought to be more easily aroused by erotic imagery than women are, but many women masturbate to pornography, too.

The Internet became a major force in everyday life in the late 1990s. Before then, porn was available in adult stores, through X-rated video rentals, and on some newsstands. But with the arrival of the Internet, porn availability exploded. It was just a click away 24-7 for free in tens of millions of homes and offices. In 1997, 16 percent of American adults used the Internet regularly. By 2005, the figure had quadrupled to 65 percent. The Internet has also made porn much more available to impressionable kids. How many kids, ages 10 to 17, have viewed Internet porn? According to a recent report in the journal Pediatrics, 42 percent.

If porn is a significant contributor to social harm, we would expect to see substantial increases in sexual irresponsibility, divorce, and rape since the late 1990s when the Internet suddenly made X-rated material much more available to those who might instigate sexual mayhem, overwhelmingly men.

Guess what. Since the arrival of Internet porn:

* Sexual irresponsibility has declined. Standard measures include rates of abortion and sexually transmitted infections. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), since 1990, the nation's abortion rate has fallen 41 percent. The syphilis rate has plummeted 74 percent. And the gonorrhea rate has plunged 57 percent.

* Teen sex has declined. The CDC says that since 1991, the proportion of teens who have had intercourse has decreased 7 percent. Teen condom use has increased 16 percent. And the teen birth rate has fallen 33 percent.

* Divorce has declined. Since 1990, the divorce rate has decreased 23 percent.

* Rape has declined. According to the Justice Department's National Crime Victimization Survey, since 1995, the sexual assault rate has fallen 44 percent.

Why would social ills decline as porn becomes more widely available? No one knows. But the one thing porn really causes is masturbation. Internet porn keeps men at home one-handing it. As a result, they're not out in the world acting irresponsibly-or criminally.

I'm not arguing that porn is utterly harmless. Some men consume it so compulsively that it interferes with their lives. They need therapy. Some women become distraught when they discover that the men in their lives enjoy porn. They might benefit from couple therapy. And to the extent that porn is a sex educator, it teaches lovemaking all wrong.

But the evidence clearly shows that from a social welfare perspective, porn causes no measurable harm. In fact, as porn viewing has soared, rates of syphilis, gonorrhea, teen sex, teen births, divorce, and rape have all substantially declined. If Internet porn affects society, oddly enough, it looks beneficial. Perhaps mental health professionals should encourage men to view it.

In the past election the sex industry had a major issue enter scrutiny. The Los Angeles County ballot initiative that would require condoms to be used for vaginal and anal sex in porn films shot in the county is known as Measure B, and authored by the Aids Healthcare Foundation (AHF). This initiative also requires porn film producers to obtain public health permits. Repeated failure to do so could result in civil fines or misdemeanor charges.

The porn industry has always had strict health regulations. They require testing (at least) every 14 and 28 days for HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. 

But AIDS activists, who led the drive for Measure B amid concerns that HIV was being transmitted among performers and to the general public who have sex with them, say the testing system is flawed, and that performers can easily become infected between tests. 
Those in the porn industry think that the business will go underground, and more than likely the testing will go away.

Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions or questions below!

Follow us on Twitter @Naked_Geeks or Like us on Facebook 
Or email us at if your comment is too sexy for the internet ;)

Don't be shy!

--Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress