Wednesday, October 31, 2012

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-- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress


Role Play

 Role Play


Happy Halloween!

Ah, Halloween. My favorite holiday! And not just cause of the candy. Halloween is day where you can become anyone you want, you can let out your inner sexy or you can act out your inner fantasies.

You know what the best part about Halloween is!?! Role play! I know that’s what you were all thinking!

So, Ladies and Gents, don’t throw away your Halloween costumes, you can get more than just candy!

This is a great time to broach the subject with your partner. Isn’t dressing up in costumes childish and silly? My answer to that is of course it is silly but that’s the point you laugh you have fun. Since when does sex have to be serious?

Or perhaps you are worried that if your partner wants you dress up as someone else that means they don’t want you. My answer to that is: of course not.

Be confident! Really go for it!

You will be surprised how much fun it is. They aren’t saying they want you to be Spiderman forever, just pretend for a night.  

We’re all human, and we’re all attracted to different things. It doesn’t make you a horrible person to want someone or something. Role play can get a bad name, because people tend to think of it in an extreme kind of way—like BDSM or a Furrie kind of way—and those can scare you off if they’re not your bag.

Role playing can be as simple as picking up your significant other in a bar—as if you were strangers, or as complicated as the ropes course in the Circe De Solei. The best part is that you get to decide how far you want to go!

Some of you might say that you are not into this sort of thing. I would like to call bull on that statement. You might not be a furry but have you ever watched a movie and been really turned on by one of the characters? Are you turned on by the actor themselves (that you totally know personally) or are you turned on by how that actor portrays that character? If the answer is the former, well then congratulations to you for bedding Johnny Depp, (or whoever) but if it is the more likely answer of the latter, then you need to have a heart to heart with yourself and realize that you are totally in to people dressed up in costumes. (And quite frankly if you are dating an actor, you probably are into it anyway).

My point is that everyone is looking for ways to spicy up their love life. Even if you have the best sex ever if it’s the same night after night it’s going to get a bit same-y.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about role play for a while, but aren’t sure how to let your partner know that you picked up the Indiana Jones hat and whip a few weeks back for them. Here’s where to start. Go far away from the bed room, get a cup of coffee and have a nice rational discussion so that your partner can have the knee jerk reaction of No, before they start thinking about how hot you might be in Leia’s golden bikini.

So, let’s play!

You don’t have to be elaborate.

I recommend having a couple of accessories in a drawer by the bed for some impromptu role play. A bandana can turn you into a robber or a cowboy or you can tie it in your hair and be the farmer’s daughter. Handcuffs can make you a cop. Want to be a superhero? Take a blanket and tie it around your neck as a cape. 

That’s where your old Halloween costumes come in to play! Keep them around and use them for endless possibilities. Your sexy nurse costume from last year’s office party is just begging to be worn for your partner. Any costume with the word sexy in the title is meant to be worn in the bedroom!

Improv is important here—there’s no negation in role play. Roll with those punches! You’re a mermaid? Sweet, ‘cuz I’m a pirate and I want some booty! Don’t get too stuck on the little details, you’re not LARP-ing here, this is just for fun.

Don’t put too much effort in it. This doesn’t have to be an exact replica of that one episode of whatever. Just give a general impression, remember that more than likely all those clothes and props are going to end up on the floor of your bedroom anyway.

You can always hit up the thrift store for some cheap clothes that are meant to be torn off of you. Anything in your home can become a prop in your scene if you use your imagination.

Don’t think about how ridiculous you might look or whether or not you are a good actor. That’s not the point. The point is to have fun pretending to be someone else for a while you aren’t Jill worried about bills being paid or if the kids have lunch for the next day you are wonder woman there to save your man or the princess being taken by the sexy but evil knight.

You’re going feel silly, but you’re also going to feel sexy. Embrace it!

Here’s a couple of classic (and not so classic) Role Play’s to get you started

-- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The Erogenous Zone

Erogenous Zones

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension.  A dimension of sound.  A dimension of sight.  A dimension of mind.  You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance;  of things and ideas. You just crossed over into…the erogenous zone(s)! (queue dramatic music)

If you took some time to talk to Sigmund Freud, he’d hasten to tell you that humans only have 4 stages of psycho-sexual development, and these stages of development correspond with the following erogenous zones: the mouth, the anus, and the genital region.

“What?” asks everyone.

Yeah... That’s a scary story worthy of Halloween.

This is one of the hardest subjects to discuss because although there are similarities, everyone’s list of zones is unique and personal to them. What works  for one person may not work for others. I find this subject is something people find very awkward discussing with their partners and it needn’t be. You shouldn’t find it insulting if a partner says to you “I don’t like it when you pull my hair” or “hey could you slap my ass every once and awhile”.  They are just trying to help guide you to doing what feels best for them.

To help with the communication, try making your comments sound more positive, instead of saying "I don't like it when..." say "You know what would be hot...?"

To try to kick start that conversation and get people to touch each other in less obvious places we have compiled a list of body parts (other than the nether regions) to play around with. The nether regions are a heck of a lot of fun, but we will discuss them at a later date.

Here are 10 of the common (and not so common) erogenous zones:

Hey if you’re gonna ride my ass at least pull my Hair!

The scalp and hair are areas that are near and dear to my heart. I have a love hate relationship with my hair, it’s long and curly and thick which is wonderful, but I have the most horrendous bed head. It goes all over the place and it never does what I want. My fiancée would disagree, he thinks I look sexy when I just get out of bed (yeah, right) and he loves to play with it. Some of our most loving moments have been him brushing it out. I know that might not sound like that is a moment that will lead to a raucous good time, but it can. Running his fingers through my hair, rubbing my scalp, playfully scratching behind my ear, sneaking kisses and nibbles on my neck, grabbing a bit of hair or giving it a tug. Any of these can lead to a hot and steamy situation. Then, playing with my hair becomes less innocent. Pulling my hair back to expose my neck (Double Zone! Extra Points!) can be used to guide me and to rein me in, so to speak.

Yes, hair pulling can be a rather common preference. Make sure you start out slow with a new partner though. You never know how much tugging a person really wants. Have you considered other techniques? Massaging the scalp, and just playing with hair can get your partner in the mood.

Why do you think girls spend so much time on their hair?

Kissy Lips

We bite them, suck them, paint them up and everyone likes a good snog, but no one ever seems to think of them for what they really are, which is a sexual organ in their own right. They should be paid proper attention to. Kiss, nibble, suck on them, give them a little bite, linger at that spot a while. The best thing about kissing is it kills 2 birds with one stone by stimulating both set of lips while leaving your hands free to grope the rest of each other. If you just spend 5 more minutes kissing your partner before moving on to other aspects of love making it will improve your sex life 10 fold!

This may sound obvious, but it’s important to note that kissing isn’t the only thing one may do with the lips... we’ll get to some of the more creative stuff later... but for now experiment with pressure, nibbling and anything you want to try with those luscious lips! Remember every kiss burns 42 calories!

That’s Why They Call It Necking!

One of the sexiest things a guy can do to get me in the mood is to come behind me, wrap their arms around me and kiss the back of my neck. The nape of my neck is very sensitive and, if done right, with gentle but firm kisses and nibbles, I find it very hard to resist. It can send shivers down my spine and make my toes curl. It’s a great part of the body to caress, massage and tease. Best of all it is not covered by pesky clothes that get in the way of a lot of erogenous zones. It can be the start of something very intimate and close, An added benefit is that it is on the way to other zones, no matter which part of the body you are after. You can kiss your way up toward lips and ears, pull on the hair slightly to expose a little more neck and tease it some more, or linger there for a while before you start working your way down to nipples or thigh. Filled with endless possibilities and I think it is a zone often neglected.
Oh the neck! One of my favorites. There’s no need to turn into a vampire, but some biting or sucking can be very nice. Don’t get too excited and start leaving marks on your sexy friend!

Silken Skin

I know that sounds like a cop-out, but the skin is the largest organ you have, and really if you take the time to explore, taste and feel every part of your partner's body, you will find what they like (and don’t like.) If you communicate through the whole process, you will learn what will work best for them. Communication is key. You should put aside 2 nights, one dedicated to one person vice versa, so you both have equal turns exploring each others bodies.

No one can underestimate the power of touch. Our skin contains chemicals that react to other peoples skin chemicals, causing chemical reactions. SCIENCE! So touch and be touched!

Non-Penile Appendages (aww! no penis! T_T )

As mentioned before, the nether regions are not one of the zones to be discussed. (At least not in this post.) We feel that if we went into detail with those lovely bits we would never stop talking about them and the other body parts would feel left out. 

By Non-Penile appendages we mean arms, legs-- not the genitals. Like I said, we’ll get to them.

So I wanted to talk to you about the possibilities of non-penile appendages.

"Ooh, baby, touch my non-penile appendages!"

I know it sounds so sexy, right? Ever sucked on your lovers fingers? How about moving your fingers like you are playing an imaginary keyboard up and down arms and legs? When is the last time you gave your lover a calf massage? One of the best way to get me to bite my lip and get me thinking dirty thoughts is to play with the underside of my forearm, especially the undersides of my wrist. I am willing to bet if you took the time to explore your lovers arms, legs, toes and fingers you'll find a hidden sensitive spot that will drive them crazy. So, go on explore. Just taking the time to find such sensitive spots will be greatly appreciated. Who doesn’t like to be touched by the one you like?

Just massaging the hands or feet can be a wonderful way to cuddle up with someone you love. Just touching somewhere different can be a sexy way to get to know someone. Softly moving leg and arm hair can drive someone crazy (in both good and bad ways.)

Da Boobies!

You might think of nipples as an obvious erogenous zone, and it is to a certain extent, but men’s nipples are largely ignored and I feel guys sometimes forget about the nipples, because they are so mesmerized by the whole breast. Now i don’t want you to forget about the rest of the breast because, even on a modest rack, there is a lot to play with. However, by focusing on the nipples and giving them your full attention, you can really get a girl or guy squirming. Again I can’t stress this enough, as with all of the zones listed, it’s not going to work on everybody, but by gently teasing, suckling, licking, rubbing, even a delicate nibble  can cause some delightful sensations and you get the satisfaction of making them get all pointy, which I think is a lot of fun.

We’re sure you get the basics of boobs but:

Don’t ignore the nipples!
Don’t just start motor boating
Don’t start yanking them-- they are attached to the body.
Do squeeze gently
Do suck, nibble, flick... mmm

Everything But the Kitchen Sink-- and by that we mean Va Jay Jay

What do we mean by everything but the kitchen sink? Well, we mean the surrounding area around the naughty bits without including them. Upper and inner thigh and hips. These places get largely ignored because they are to close to body parts that are so hard to resist, but please try, at least for a little while, to explore other parts of the body that are in need of some tender (or not so tender) loving. If you tease those areas, I will be begging you to stop, but secretly not wanting you to. They drive me wild when there are teased. Bite my hip bone, take a a feather and draw it across my thighs. With all my squirming you may have to tie me down (please do!) but you will love my reactions. If that is how I react, I know I can’t be the only one. So please next time you go down on your partner, take some time, don’t go straight for the kill. Play around a bit, take your time and let your fingers, hands and mouth wander all around.

Before you rush into the main event (see Foreplay) make sure you do a little teasing of the thighs, the hips, the sides of the torso, the torso. (Little tip: if your girl is self conscious about her love handles or her weight she’s not going to like you obsessing over those zones.) Teasing is very important, and patience is a virtue.

Tramp Stamp Spot

One of the parts of my body that is very sensitive is the small of my back and I have the most trouble getting who ever I am with at the time to pay it any attention. They all think I am trying to con them into giving me a back massage. Of course, I would love a back massage but that’s not the reason I bring the subject up. (Really, I swear.)  That part of my body is very receptive to touch. Not only is it great to tease, but during sex if you put a hand at the small of the back to support them you can give them added sensations and for a woman especially it can hold her in a better position to hit all the right places. Because it is a little thicker skinned then some other zones we are talking about, you can be a little rougher with it (if you are in to that sort of thing.) Be creative and you might just like the reaction you get.

The small of the back can be very important, but is often ignored. You can play a lot with the dynamics of the Dominate and the Submissive without pulling out the chains and whips. (More on that later...)

Butt Play

Who doesn’t want to grab some ass? Even if you don’t consider the booty something that attracts you to someone I know that at some time or another you have had the urge to grab it and why not!. Full of nerve endings, it makes a satisfying noise when you slap it, it’s practically natures hand hold! Playful, sexy and fun. Ooh so many possibilities! Next time your lover walks by grab a cheek and give it a quick squeeze. They will probably like the attention. I know I do!

A little spanking can go a long way, as well as mixing it up with some tender caressing. Don't forget that there are a lot of nerves in that area, including, but not limited to the prostate. (We'll talk more about this later too.)  

A Beautiful Mind

I know it is cliché, but the mind is one of the biggest of all the zones. You can poke and prod me all you want, but if I am still think about the laundry that needs doing or when I should get a haircut you aren’t going to get very far and if you do manage to herd me into bed, get ready to have the most boring sex you have ever had....ever

There are countless ways to engage the mind to make your significant other yearn for you; ache for your touch. Simply describing what you want to do to them could peak their interest, or you can be a little less blatant  You can compliment them or simply whisper, "I want you" in a low sultry tone. You don’t even have to say anything at all, you can write an explicit note for them or send them a suggestive email at work. Wear an outfit you know they really like on you. You want to stoke the fires of your lover’s imagination so that you and your body is all that is on their mind.

Hey, watch a little porn, if your both up for it, or read some erotica. Sexy texts are always fun-- just make sure you text the right person! Dirty talk or just being attentive can put anyone in the right frame of mind.

-- Kinky Kraken, Samus Andress


Wednesday, October 24, 2012


    Foreplay! Yes! Yes! Did I say YES!?!

There seems to be a disconnect between men and women about foreplay. But I don’t buy the excuse that men and women are different. To some extent it’s true, we are wired differently and are working with different equipment. However, I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t enjoy playful teasing before the main event. The biggest problem I find is it just isn’t something they think about.

The difference between good sex and fantastic sex is foreplay.

"Foreplay is crucial for good sex. It's not just an old wives’ tale that foreplay is something that people should spend more time doing," says Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, in Bloomington.
"When a woman's body becomes aroused, the muscles actually pull the uterus up a little bit, and it makes more room in the vagina," says Dr. Herbenick. This process, called vaginal tenting, creates more space, which makes sex more comfortable and more pleasurable. "If this doesn't happen, sex can become more uncomfortable," she says. (Rodriguez 1)

Now there are a lot of factors in place, but for simplicity's sake I am going to put all the blame on James Bond. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love James Bond anyone who knows me seems to become aware at some point or another that I would bone Roger Moore anytime, anywhere. The problem is when guys think of a fictional character that is great with the ladies James Bond always springs to mind. Unfortunately, the only foreplay you ever see in the movies is him wrestling some chick in a barn forcing her to kiss him and her saying “Oh, James”. Somehow that move and the unseen sexy time to follow is enough to convince her to switch sides and help him save the day.

Most girls, I feel, imagine foreplay would be a major part of that missing sex scene but men seem to just turn into teenagers who giggle and say “Dude, they just boned” without imagining what that would actually entail. This difference in trains of thought is something I just don’t understand. Aren’t the guys supposed to be thinking about sex all the time? Shouldn’t they be the ones with the vivid imagination when it comes to sexual matters?

    The only problem with foreplay is that many men (and women) get it wrong. Partly it’s because people are too ready to get to the main event, they don’t know what buttons to press when, they over do it, they under do it or they just ignore good old fashioned making out.
    Did you know that kissing transfer’s hormones to your partner? Yep! A good way to get your partner on the same sexual page is to swap some spit!
    It’s really important to turn your partner on in a way that you’ll both enjoy. Not only can it help you reach a more intense orgasm-- it’ll just plain be more fun!
    Don’t just read Cosmo’s or Men’s Health tips on foreplay. Not just because they are vague, conflicting or just plain obvious, but because you don’t really want to know about EVERYBODIES formula for fucking-- you want your partners formula!
    This is going to sound so cliche but...

    Communication is key!

It doesn’t help matters that foreplay is very personal. Fetishes and turn ons play a big part of it and people just aren’t open about such things. They are too afraid about what the other might say or think. So couples just live with a lack luster sex life in which neither partner is satisfied and each too afraid of saying anything.  
Lucky for me that is what me and my fiancée have in abundance: communication. I’m currently in a long distance relationship. Not something recommend for the faint of heart. But because of the distance and the lack of physical sex we talk about our fantasies and preferences nonstop. Sure some of them aren’t practical like his fantasy of doing it on a bicycle while riding it through the country. But it also gives us insight on how to turn each other on.  I have been able to do what most girls really should do which is to describe in excruciating detail how to get me in the sack and keep me there.

    Ask your partner what they like! It doesn’t have to be awkward or clinical. It can be hot.
    I mean, come on! Don’t you want to hear someone say, “Kiss my neck, slap my ass, pinch my nipples!” Dirty talk 101!

If you are wondering what the steps are remember back to your middle school days when you first got interested in sex and people used to giggle about Suzy because the rumor was that she had gotten to 3rd base with Brad. The fact of the matter is somehow with the excitement of reaching 4th base you have miraculously forgotten all the steps to get to that point. It’s not a home run unless you get to the first 3. And more than likely you are going to have to visit the first 3 multiple times before you finally slide into home. We have lost the uncertainty of our youth. We have forgotten the excitement of working toward the goal of 4th base never taking it for granted as a certainty. It should be a challenge, not the inevitable.

-- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress