Wednesday, October 24, 2012


    Foreplay! Yes! Yes! Did I say YES!?!

There seems to be a disconnect between men and women about foreplay. But I don’t buy the excuse that men and women are different. To some extent it’s true, we are wired differently and are working with different equipment. However, I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t enjoy playful teasing before the main event. The biggest problem I find is it just isn’t something they think about.

The difference between good sex and fantastic sex is foreplay.

"Foreplay is crucial for good sex. It's not just an old wives’ tale that foreplay is something that people should spend more time doing," says Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, in Bloomington.
"When a woman's body becomes aroused, the muscles actually pull the uterus up a little bit, and it makes more room in the vagina," says Dr. Herbenick. This process, called vaginal tenting, creates more space, which makes sex more comfortable and more pleasurable. "If this doesn't happen, sex can become more uncomfortable," she says. (Rodriguez 1)

Now there are a lot of factors in place, but for simplicity's sake I am going to put all the blame on James Bond. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love James Bond anyone who knows me seems to become aware at some point or another that I would bone Roger Moore anytime, anywhere. The problem is when guys think of a fictional character that is great with the ladies James Bond always springs to mind. Unfortunately, the only foreplay you ever see in the movies is him wrestling some chick in a barn forcing her to kiss him and her saying “Oh, James”. Somehow that move and the unseen sexy time to follow is enough to convince her to switch sides and help him save the day.

Most girls, I feel, imagine foreplay would be a major part of that missing sex scene but men seem to just turn into teenagers who giggle and say “Dude, they just boned” without imagining what that would actually entail. This difference in trains of thought is something I just don’t understand. Aren’t the guys supposed to be thinking about sex all the time? Shouldn’t they be the ones with the vivid imagination when it comes to sexual matters?

    The only problem with foreplay is that many men (and women) get it wrong. Partly it’s because people are too ready to get to the main event, they don’t know what buttons to press when, they over do it, they under do it or they just ignore good old fashioned making out.
    Did you know that kissing transfer’s hormones to your partner? Yep! A good way to get your partner on the same sexual page is to swap some spit!
    It’s really important to turn your partner on in a way that you’ll both enjoy. Not only can it help you reach a more intense orgasm-- it’ll just plain be more fun!
    Don’t just read Cosmo’s or Men’s Health tips on foreplay. Not just because they are vague, conflicting or just plain obvious, but because you don’t really want to know about EVERYBODIES formula for fucking-- you want your partners formula!
    This is going to sound so cliche but...

    Communication is key!

It doesn’t help matters that foreplay is very personal. Fetishes and turn ons play a big part of it and people just aren’t open about such things. They are too afraid about what the other might say or think. So couples just live with a lack luster sex life in which neither partner is satisfied and each too afraid of saying anything.  
Lucky for me that is what me and my fiancĂ©e have in abundance: communication. I’m currently in a long distance relationship. Not something recommend for the faint of heart. But because of the distance and the lack of physical sex we talk about our fantasies and preferences nonstop. Sure some of them aren’t practical like his fantasy of doing it on a bicycle while riding it through the country. But it also gives us insight on how to turn each other on.  I have been able to do what most girls really should do which is to describe in excruciating detail how to get me in the sack and keep me there.

    Ask your partner what they like! It doesn’t have to be awkward or clinical. It can be hot.
    I mean, come on! Don’t you want to hear someone say, “Kiss my neck, slap my ass, pinch my nipples!” Dirty talk 101!

If you are wondering what the steps are remember back to your middle school days when you first got interested in sex and people used to giggle about Suzy because the rumor was that she had gotten to 3rd base with Brad. The fact of the matter is somehow with the excitement of reaching 4th base you have miraculously forgotten all the steps to get to that point. It’s not a home run unless you get to the first 3. And more than likely you are going to have to visit the first 3 multiple times before you finally slide into home. We have lost the uncertainty of our youth. We have forgotten the excitement of working toward the goal of 4th base never taking it for granted as a certainty. It should be a challenge, not the inevitable.

-- Kinky Kraken & Samus Andress


Works Cited

Rodriguez, Diana . "The Art of Sexual Foreplay Have you and your honey been neglecting pre-sex play? Here are new ways to ensure you don't forget about foreplay.." Everday Health. 29 2011: 1. Web. 17 Oct. 2012. <>

No comments:

Post a Comment